Ay los vecinos

<<<<<<Warning: slightly depressing blog>>>>>>OK so now that enough time has passed and I lost all the steam I never really had on this blog. (I'm sure nobody's reading it hence the 0 comments lol). Now I can really say how I feel! Just gotta interject that I don't think people understand what the purpose of a blog is. To actually get to comment on it, not just read it. Shout out to Adri who always comments. (Eventhough I might just be talking to empty internet land, but just in case thanx boo)! Anyway, on to the real topic: so momma said they'll be days like this and tonight I just feel incredibly lonely. Feeling a little down. I don't wanna join my neighbors' conversations because that one annoying neighbor I mentioned on the last blog (Freddie, let's say) somehow always turns ANY conversation (trust me, we could be talking about literally anything) to some anti-American tirade, or makes indirect comments about anything American to watch my reaction. I'm tired of being attacked. I'm sick of feeling like I need to defend myself. I'm exhaused. People (or internet land) if you thought anti-American sentiments didn't exist when you travel outside the US think again (yea Bush f-ed it up for all of us). So I lock myself in my apartment and study, or talk on the phone with my boyfriend, or get online and see if I catch my BFF on gchat, or watch Grey's Anatomy on DVD (soooo hooked :-D)! I get the feeling the rest of my neighbors think I'm just an overly private New Yorker (admit it we don't really like to be bothered much), or that I'm being antisocial, or don't want to spend time with them, or think I'm too good for them. I don't really know what they think. The point is they don't look for me anymore, because I see them not looking to talk to me too much anymore. I feel a distance between us. I just don't fit in with these people. So what can I do? I rather chill by myself than feel uncomfortable just to have company. Nor am I willing to cut my study time to go talk gibberish (they not passing my tests for me now are they)? I wish there were people who got me around here. Now I'll admit, I am kind of quirky, but geez I'm not that much of a weirdo. I feel as though I have to explain everything, I have to be made fun of all the time. They think I don't know how to do anything (dude they were shocked I was cooking chicken. Really? Chicken)?? When I express myself, or open up, they don't get it (or care sometimes I think). I'm not sayin they're terrible people. They're actually very friendly and welcoming, and if I need anything they alway got me. But aquaintances and friendships are two very different things, and I don't know if I've made any friends among them just yet. I just wanna be happy again I guess. It's certainly not easy being alone here by myself. Maybe I'm just homesick. Maybe I just really want Freddie to BACK THE FREAK OFF DUDE. I'm actually considering (politely) asking him to not share his negative American feelings with me, or that otherwise we can surely be on some hi and bye tip. Whatever, I'm goint to bed (this blog is freezing too much and it's annoying the crap out of me). GN internet. (BTW writing crap on a blog totally kicks Facebook's ass, I guess I'm just not really into all that social networking BS).