I'm still alive!

Okay so I made it out of my first semester alive thank God, I nearly died a few times, but I'm okay now. So here's my list of what to do to survive your first semester of med school in DR from the beginning. Ahem:
1. Come to terms with the fact that this is not the US, or Puerto Rico, or Canada, or wherever the heck you come from fast! The sooner you accept that this country and the school you'll be attending has it's own set of norms (annoying as they may seem) and laws (or lack thereof), the sooner you'll get over the initial shock and figure out how to do what you set out to do. The electric company will hustle you, your landlord may hustle you, your lawer can hustle you LOL for real, your motoconcho will try to hustle you, anyone who sells you anything will definitely hustle you if you let them, your neighbors, and classmates (Dominican or not) may try to hustle you so WAKE UP! Don't let them take you as an idiot. Also apreciate, but certainly don't expect great customer service unless you're in a resort lol. As my Canadian friend put it, this is a country of hustlers, so you gotta figure out how to hustle them back (I thought Canadians were friendly!), but he's right. No matter where you come from you're an extranjero (a foreigner) so to everyone here (including family unfortunately) you're a walking talking money bag. This brings me to the next thing
2. Watch your freiking money. Don't walk around with lookin all flashy and stuff (trust me you don't wanna do that here you might just get jacked up), put your money in a safe place always when you step out, make sure you don't let everyone in your home, and count your money before and after you buy something. This country has turned me into a human calculator dude seriously. What I'm saying is, when you need to pay for something, don't pull out your wad of fresh bills to count out 20 pesos, when you buy compare prices in different places so you know who's trying to get you for your cash, figure out the cheapest way to get around, and notice who charges foreign students higher prices, for certain things especially big purchases negotiate (meaning talk the price down, hustle them back remember) and calculate how much you would be paying in dollars (whip out your calculator ain't no shame!) before you get your change back, you should already know how much you're getting back, and don't let them get away with your money! Doesn't matter if it's 5 pesos, they will think they can get over on you forever so don't be a pendejo! (Unfortunately I've learned some things the hard way :-( so be careful). Oh yea, and don't think you can buy the whole island cuz you got a few dollar bills because money runs out so don't be dumb.
3. Quit complaining already. This one is a challenge to many my friends, but it's necessary. You're here already, you've made the decision to be here, you need to be here (go check reality and I'll wait). So shut up and take it like a man! Yes there are things fundamentally wrong with this place: the government, the environment, the people, the school system, the services, everything, but you need to be here. Just because you have dollars does NOT mean this country needs to change for you, because you have decided to come here on your own. Let me repeat that, this country does NOT need to change for you my dear. In fact, it's the other way around so accept and assimilate.
4. Keep a copy of every single receipt ever, or proof of anything important, be it from school, purchases, government docs, whatever, and file them away. People magically lose recollection of things and lose receipts of things easily, and electronic records would be great here if the internet and the electricity were reliable, yes even in big businesses (like the bank!) so you must keep them for yourself. The last thing you thought you might need to save might just save your butt at the most unexpected moment, trust.
5. Watch what you put in your mouth. Remember, there is no FDA here (I mean there is the equivalent, but they don't really hold that much weight ) so clean your veggies and fruit well (with a few drops of chlorine!), cook and wash with water from the botellon (purified water), don't eat and drink everywhere for obvious reasons. Don't take my advice and you might just end up with an ameba in your stomach, and trust me it's not pretty (not to mention painful)!! Yes you heard right, the unicellular creature we all study in highschool bio (so disgusting) will make your intestine it's home.
6. Don't be lazy and do your work. Now, academic integrity has become a big deal in the US (as it should be), here not so much. It's incredible the amount of cheating and crazy obvious plagiarism going on. However, don't do it, tempting though it may be, even if it's a stupid ass class like Orientation to the University (yes they made this an actual class!!). Why you ask? Because students get into the habit of cheating even when they get to the actual med classes and not into the habit of studying, but guess what? You have the USMLE Step 1 to pass no matter what, and you know what that means? It means even if you cheated and got by protecting your GPA and didn't really learn the material, you can't graduate unless you pass Step 1 if you're an American student. So if you didn't learn it before, you definitely gotta learn that mess then, and trust me it is A LOT of material, A LOT...A LOTTT. Did I emphasize it's A LOT of information, just wanted to reiterate, just in case you forgot you were in med school afterall lol. Otherwise, you might as well go home and give up.
7. Talk to upper classmen and get their input. One of my professors (hey Brathwaite!) gave me this advice, and it was the smartest thing I did. Not only do they give or lend you material so you don't have to buy it yourself, but they tell you which teachers suck, which teachers will actually teach, how to study for certain classes, how to survive the school (and the country) and beat the system (they all try to hustle it back, told you so). Now don't do everything everyone tells you obviously, but weigh different people's opinions and then decide how you're going to tackle things. The advice one upper classman gave me (about the Gunner Program I wrote about before) might just make the difference of whether I pass Step 1 or not so pay attention!
8. Make a weekly schedule and stry as hard as you can to stick to it. Know when you're going to study, and when you're going to chill. Know your priorities; you're here to study medicine. So eventhough the beach is a 15 min bus ride away and you do need to get your mind off the books every once in a while (otherwise you'll go nuts), keep in mind the beach ain't going nowhere (and they'll never run out of beer it's DR)!! Make sure most of your time during the week is spent hitting the books, clearing your concepts and memorizing, otherwise you're wasting your time. Take snacks and lunch to school, eventhough my house is only 15 min away from school and I walk, home=laziness (and baby kitty play time :-D). So I still pack my lunch, and cook in bulk during the weekend, freeze in tuppawear, and just heat things as I go to economize time. And try different methods out until you get the most out of your time and effort. Next semester I think I'll use my Saturdays to review every week so I don't fall behind and then have to memorize everything before the test. Falling behind is the worse thing you can do to yourself with challenging subjects. You'll figure out your own things, but it's like an upper classman told me, you either want the pressure now, or you want it later, so make sure you make good use of your time from get. Oh yea, and do make time to excercise because school is stressful and you should try to stay in good health (and good spirits)!
9. When you fall, get back up! Things can be disappointing and really unfair, especially in school, so when something happens to you, take note of it and move on. No use crying over spilled milk right? Learn from it so it doesn't happen again to you. If you're a cry baby you'll definitely have to man up here, and keep in mind there is not always someone to complain to who can change things to make them fair so don't get stuck on that either.
10. Keep the big picture in mind. Count your victories instead of your losses and keep in mind that you can't be perfect. Remain positive and remember everytime you get caught up that you came here to become a doctor so learn to handle the pressure and keep going no matter what!

I hope this helps someone out there at some point. I'll post whatever I'll learn, because things are definitely not easy.

Need to get out of here

I can't, I just gotta go home. At first I wanted to stay since I haven't spent the holidays in DR since I was six, but I just gotta get out of here. You know, as much as I thought this experience living here would make me feel closer to my culture, and undoubtedly I have assimilated to the point that everything that used to shock and annoy me doesn't anymore, but the Dominican culture can be a bit much to swallow sometimes. At least for me it is. I just really need a break from the unrelenting men  (little boys and elderly men) and their incessant hitting on me, the general (and I do hate to generalize) personality of the average Dominican which critizes everything, notices everything, is always trying to find a way to outsmart and jip somebody out of something, especially when they know you're not from here. I'm sick of sticking out like a sore thumb, and of people thinking I'm a money machine (I frieking wish)!! Yes the weather's still great, and I can still drink (and do pretty much whatever else I want) out in the open without being afraid of getting arrested. Even still. I miss my home. I miss my New York. I miss my Bronx. I miss my friends, my mom, my sisters, my niece, my boyfriend (especially him), and I was beginning to become depressed, and Lord knows I can't study while depressed. So I'm out! And I can't wait!!!! I feel like I need to recharge my battery before I come back to harder classes. Yea. I think I made the right decision.

Ay los vecinos

<<<<<<Warning: slightly depressing blog>>>>>>OK so now that enough time has passed and I lost all the steam I never really had on this blog. (I'm sure nobody's reading it hence the 0 comments lol). Now I can really say how I feel! Just gotta interject that I don't think people understand what the purpose of a blog is. To actually get to comment on it, not just read it. Shout out to Adri who always comments. (Eventhough I might just be talking to empty internet land, but just in case thanx boo)! Anyway, on to the real topic: so momma said they'll be days like this and tonight I just feel incredibly lonely. Feeling a little down. I don't wanna join my neighbors' conversations because that one annoying neighbor I mentioned on the last blog (Freddie, let's say) somehow always turns ANY conversation (trust me, we could be talking about literally anything) to some anti-American tirade, or makes indirect comments about anything American to watch my reaction. I'm tired of being attacked. I'm sick of feeling like I need to defend myself. I'm exhaused. People (or internet land) if you thought anti-American sentiments didn't exist when you travel outside the US think again (yea Bush f-ed it up for all of us). So I lock myself in my apartment and study, or talk on the phone with my boyfriend, or get online and see if I catch my BFF on gchat, or watch Grey's Anatomy on DVD (soooo hooked :-D)! I get the feeling the rest of my neighbors think I'm just an overly private New Yorker (admit it we don't really like to be bothered much), or that I'm being antisocial, or don't want to spend time with them, or think I'm too good for them. I don't really know what they think. The point is they don't look for me anymore, because I see them not looking to talk to me too much anymore. I feel a distance between us. I just don't fit in with these people. So what can I do? I rather chill by myself than feel uncomfortable just to have company. Nor am I willing to cut my study time to go talk gibberish (they not passing my tests for me now are they)? I wish there were people who got me around here. Now I'll admit, I am kind of quirky, but geez I'm not that much of a weirdo. I feel as though I have to explain everything, I have to be made fun of all the time. They think I don't know how to do anything (dude they were shocked I was cooking chicken. Really? Chicken)?? When I express myself, or open up, they don't get it (or care sometimes I think). I'm not sayin they're terrible people. They're actually very friendly and welcoming, and if I need anything they alway got me. But aquaintances and friendships are two very different things, and I don't know if I've made any friends among them just yet. I just wanna be happy again I guess. It's certainly not easy being alone here by myself. Maybe I'm just homesick. Maybe I just really want Freddie to BACK THE FREAK OFF DUDE. I'm actually considering (politely) asking him to not share his negative American feelings with me, or that otherwise we can surely be on some hi and bye tip. Whatever, I'm goint to bed (this blog is freezing too much and it's annoying the crap out of me). GN internet. (BTW writing crap on a blog totally kicks Facebook's ass, I guess I'm just not really into all that social networking BS).

Somewhere I belong

First of all, I need to shower and hit the sheets (TMI I know I just wanted to write that lmaoo). Anyway, it's really strange being Dominican American and moving to Dominican Republic. I'll explain. OK so, when I'm in the US and they ask me what's my culture, what's my background, what's my ethnicity, where I or my people are from, I say Dominican without hesitation. I mean, I consider myself Latina, more specifically Dominican of course. I think in the US, because it's a country made of immigrants, and NYC especially, where there are people from literally every single corner of the globe, we all refer to our direct cultural root, what country you, your parents, grandparents, even great grandparents are from, and we're all very proud of that (if you're not tsk tsk). So it's confusing at the very least, to come to DR and find that here I'm considered American. I promise I'm not being dramatic. I mean, they purposely single me out as an American, even a "gringa" (which was formerly reserved for white Americans only), and when I don't know which bus to take to Iberia (the supermarket), or understand the meaning of a common obscured phrase (like I'm supposed to know aaaall things Dominican growing up in the Bronx forever), they don't miss a beat to say, "it's cuz she's American, don't you see that girl can't understand what you're talking about, etc." So in America I'm Dominican, and in DR I'm American. So what am I finally? Sometimes I feel like both places are trying to exile me sheesh. I'm sure many of us children of immigrants, especially Latinos, experience this because we are bicultural and bilingual, and people that are monolingual and monocultural (think that's a word), both in the US as well as outside of it, don't fully understand what that implies. Well let me clear it up for you eeeediots! (Eventhough if you're reading this blog, you're most likely bilingual/bicultural yourself). Being bicultural and bilingual means I can dominate two cultures and two languages, both EQUALLY well. It means I understand each culture and each language perfectly (and it doesn't mean I have to know every single little particularity of them each either). Let me just get this off my chest. Ahem. For those Americans who make fun of immigrants or the children of immigrants (like somewhere down the line your family didn't immigrate to the US too dummy), don't be mad because I'm gonna get the job you want because I speak Spanish (and Italian thank you very much), or because I can talk smack about you in your face while you're still super confused as to why I look black and speak Spanish (smfh). And for those Dominicans (feel free to insert your country of origin), who make me feel like I'm a dumb American who doesn't read (this goes for my UBER annoying ass neighbor) or like a terrible person because I'm American (like I was the one who declared the war on oil), don't be mad because I came from a more advanced and wealthier country here to get a nice title on my name, and then reaping the benefits of all I aquired in your backyard, back in the country where the $$ are (don't hate the player hate the game playa LOL), and don't be mad because I can take a plane if I please and change my scenery. BOOM! Ok I'm done now, sigh lol. So like I was saying, being bicultural and bilingual makes me smarter and cooler than people who can only navigate in one culture and one language. En fin, it's a very special thing, and I will always be proud of it (as should we be all that fall into this category)! I will never hide my Dominican roots in the US or hide my American culture in DR. It would be like negating a part of myself on either occasion. As a matter of fact when I began writing this blog I was still trying to figure this all out, but writing it all out makes me sure of where I stand now... haterssssss lol.

For all the dream crushers out there

So I found out my next door neighbor, let's call him Ariel, is an emotional drunk lol. Last night my neighbors and I were drinking and dancing at the colmadón accross the street. When we were back at the building, he began telling us a story about his ex-girlfriend who said he could never make it as a doctor, and how he had a dream that he was saving her mother. According to Ariel, he's absolutely certain that one day he will save his ex-girlfriend's mother's life, and that that will serve as the slap in the face to show her he made it. But then he got deeper. He began sobbing (loudly), because he's afraid when he returns to Puerto Rico people will think he's  a "come mierda (that literally means "shit eater," but it's just Dominican slang for bougie [sorry NY slang lol], a sellout, or basically an elitist who thinks he's above others)." The point is Ariel is aware his life is changing, that his status in life constantly rises the longer he remains here studying medicine, and he's afraid that instead of congratulating, others will despise him. Just to tell you a little more about Ariel, he's 19 years old, came to D.R. straight after high school to study medicine. and volunteers at the local hospital, El Hospital Musa. We actually got into it one night (we used to bump heads a lot when I first got here, but we good now lol) because in his oppinnion, I should be hungry trying to get my hands on people. Meaning at the Musa he puts casts on people, he sutures patients up, he even writes prescriptions! Don't get me wrong, I can't wait till I get tot he point where I can put down the text book and begin to get my hands dirty, but every med student has a different approach. When I put the text book down I want to be confident that there's nothing (or very little) in that book that I need to reference. I mean we're talking about people's lives here, and this isn't a game. As good as your intentions might be, if you're not a professional you can put someone's life in jeopardy. Hence the reason why I don't go to the hospital here unless I happen to be bleeding profusely from my carotid artery and about to have a stroke. They let med students (I mean he's still in pre-med for goodness' sake!) suture people in the E.R. I'm sorry but I don't want NOBODY who don't know what they doing practicing on me!! Sorry. Again don't get me wrong, Ariel is doing amazing stuff in there (and the hospital is understaffed for sure), and he said last night he doesn't know how it comes to him, it just does. As he sobbed some more, he told us that this life saving instinct causes him sadness becauuse he gives of himself to strangers and they thank him profusely, but those close to him he tries to help whom he wants to come up in life with him chose to remain below and then refer to him as a come mierda. Sigh, here's my assessment: Ariel is very young, and as mature and bright as he is (medicine requires a definite level of maturity) I don't think he's figured out the precise role in his future yet, besides the fact that he wants to become a physician and heal and save lives. He doesn't understand yet that medicine is not something you do to receive gratitude, you do it because it truly fulfills you. I mean, I see a disconnect here when you help people and you don't feel good about it (don't you)? He doesn't see that he doesn't need to save that lady's life to slap his ex in the face, that title (Dr. of course) before his name will do all of the slapping for him. I'm not gonna lie, I've day dreamt over and over about going back to the office of director of premedical studies at City College (the one who told me I should think of another career and had me sobbing all crazy in her office) and making her address me as doctor the whole time LOL, but I've realized God will take care of all those people. (Maybe it's the Christian in me IDK). I just know as long as you do something with vengance in your hear you're doing it for the wrong reason. Nevertheless I feel you Ariel! I'm not saying I'll go back to that director's office to show her how I made it despite her crushing my dreams for a minute, I'll just say I hope I randomly run into her and tell her that! ;-D

Of course there was a catch

So today I figured out the real challenge of going abroad to study medicine. On top of having to pass and master all these subjects (so you don't kill any people at work) and pass the USMLE (United States Medical Licensing Exam) like all the other med students in the US, the med students abroad have to basically teach themselves medicine the American way, on their own. In other words, the catch is that if you go out of the country, whatever country you end up studying in will teach you medicine their way (duh I should've known that right?) and so it's up to the students to study for every subject that semester (which is about 11 at a time) while at the same time (preferably before) learning that subject the American way, or the way it's gonna come out on the USMLE, otherwise you'll be desperately trying to learn ALL of the subjects the American way at the same time (needless to say that's a horrifying idea). So now we have to be both the teacher and the student. Ugh, I knew about this, I just wanted to do this so bad I didn't care, but now that I'm here I see what a challenge this is really gonna be. I see some of these older students breaking their heads scrambling to retain crazy amounts of info in one semester to take a test that let's be honest, only roughly 50% of international med students can ever pass anyway so I'm not gonna lie it's a little scary. BUT the good thing is I met an awesome guy today from D.C. named Dave and he gave me some seriously great advice. He said if he knew about some good review tools like the Dr. Najeeb videos, the Gunner Training, and the USMLE WordQbank when he was a freshman he would've studied in advance and he "would've been a beast by now," LOL as he put it. On one hand you do have to pay $30/month for it, on the other hand, I'd rather pay $30/month, pass the first time with a good score, save myself a required semester of basic med sciences review (if you pass the simulated USMLE test you save yourself a whole semester!) and come home faster (yes I'm still trying to figure out ways to get back to the Bronx sooner), and not split the semester in half as many students do because of the amount of work, stay here for longer, possibly fail the USMLE. Catch my drift? So shout out to the homie Dave! You know I didn't think this abroad thing could get any more complicated...but it just did. Oy vey :-\

I guess no one wants to be black around here

So I met the most interesting person yesterday. His name is Charles from Cameroon (in Africa), he was raised in Dallas, Texas, and apparently he comes from a rich African family who's into politics (his brother's a diplomat in New York). He said he wanted to study medicine in DR and not in Poland (where he was initially going) because he wanted to be in a black country. LOL. You know I had to laugh because Dominicans would hang him if they heard him refer to them as black. He told me that out of all the countries he's ever visited (and this is a very well traveled dude) this is definitely the most racist country he's ever been in. So we had this looong conversation about Dominican society, how deluded most of them are about who they are, and how they bitch because the government steals their money, but they don't realize the government stole something far more important from them than cash: their identity. If you don't know who you are, where are you going? He told me about how he went to the capital and was denied entrance to a club because he's black. Of course the bouncer didn't know this guy could've probably bought out the entire bar that night . He also told me about how in DR when a dark skin girl sees a lighter skin girl walk in the room, she stares at the light skin girl with such noticeable envy, and it's precisely moments like these that make me ashamed of being Dominican. When people of other cultures see how ignorant we are, and I can't even argue with them because they're right. (And since I'm on this topic I'm gonna rave, cuz I've been holding it in since I've gotten here) I'm sick of these women looking at me like I'm crazy because I don't want to perm my hair. It kills me every time I see a dark skin guy kill himself to find a light skin girl cuz he thinks somehow his status in life will go up. (Don't misinterpret my words now! Everybody has preferences in dating of course, and love is love no matter what someone's color is. I myself have dated just about every color in the book. I'm talking about purposely looking to date light skin people because somehow they're "better"). You know? If I keep going I might just never finish. The point is, I've been shouted at in the streets to go to the hair salon, been called broccoli head, been told to go find a comb, but both Charles and I agree that we can't get mad at the horribly alarming level of ignorance (my own parents and family think this way)! All we can do is feel sorry for them, and thank God we know better than that.